


Eyes of God

by Katrika



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Brainbent, Ficlet, Gen, Mental Illness, Parental Abuse, Religious Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-12
Updated: 2011-12-12
Packaged: 2017-10-27 06:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/292629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katrika/pseuds/Katrika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's fine that Vriska feels empty when nobody is watching, because God is always watching. Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eyes of God

_God watches._ It was her survival mantra, her lifeboat, her safety net. When nobody was watching she was alone, but God watches, and God never leaves anyone alone.

“God is watching, Vriska. God sees every bad thing you do, every bad thought you have! God watches!”

Mother meant it as a threat, but the first time Vriska heard her say it, it was like a lock clicked open somewhere in her heart. A weight she hadn’t known was there lifted, and she wanted to fly. It was so simple, in the end. Just two words.

God watches.

When she went off to school, and sat alone at lunch, all stringy hair and patched hand-me-downs, it was okay. She didn’t need anyone to look at her, to really see her, because God did, right? God loved her. That was all she needed.

Vriska watched Mother very carefully, as carefully as God watched Vriska. One day, when Vriska was eight years old, Mother had been singing when she came home from school. She’d turned around and smiled at Vriska, and it was like seeing the sun for the very first time. The next few hours had been good, they had been **right**. Mother had swung Vriska around in her arms, and crooned praises to her. Vriska was her good girl, Vriska was her angel, yes she was, God had blessed Vriska, God had blessed Mother, everything was going to be perfect from now on. Together, they baked cookies. Mother had gotten flour on her nose, and Vriska laughed, and then flinched, but Mother only laughed back.

That evening, Vriska ate cookies for supper.

That night, she threw them back up on Mother’s best dress.

It was like a light switch had been flipped in Mother’s head. One moment, she was smiling and happy, and the next, she was…cold.

The next day, Vriska had to wear a long sleeved dress to school, despite the warm weather, but even that was okay, in the long run, because she had God. God would save her, God would drive the demons out of Mother. Soon, Vriska knew, soon Mother would get them out for good, and then Mother could be nice all the time, and Vriska could stop watching her for storm warnings.

Five years passed, and Vriska was still mouthing the same words as she looked beyond the flag, toward the sky. _Soon, God, please, God, I’m hanging from a thread, God, the demons are overrunning Mother, God, haven’t I always been faithful, God? Don’t leave me, God, don’t look away._

Her finger traced the word on her locker calmly. That smooth curve, the sharp angle, another curve, like a bowl or a cup, and…a cross. Her classmates walked by, and some of them faced her way, but none of them were **looking**. None of them saw **her**. She was invisible, worthless, nothing nothing nothing…

When God died, he took Vriska Serket with him.

**Author's Note:**

> It says 491 words, but it's really 500 exactly.


End file.
